So, the road trip that I'm going to be going on got cut down a lot because of money and things like that. Instead of going on a cross-country road trip, we'll just be driving straight to Washington where we'll find a place to live. I wish we could go elsewhere, but there's always next time.
Other than that, things have been REALLY slow around here. I've had a few things to keep me busy, but it's so freaking boring all the time. I can't wait to leave.
I'll be leaving tomorrow morning to go to Utah. My dad's cousin died, so we'll be going to his memorial. I'll be gone until Saturday, and I'm not sure whether we'll be in a hotel that has free wifi, so I might not be able to get on to check messages. If I can't, I'm sorry! I'll catch up when I get back.
My friend will be getting here on the fifth, and we'll be leaving for Washington after that, so I'll be on spottily over the next week or so.
Hope you guys have a great week! Here's a feature to keep you busy:
like wayward visitors
until we're washed away
Starving sleep and apologies.My sleep is starving.
It is shivering sweat like snow
across my shoulders as I sob scream
after scream against your skin;
"sorry, I'm so sorry,
go back to sleep."
I am sad
and struggling to stay
together but you slump
against my sickness
and hold me
The kids aren't alright but there's always drugsLate nights leave me with a tongue
That feels too big in my mouth,
And a head full of vowels that smash against each other
In the most wonderful way.
Like star vomit and pesticide veins,
All strewn together in defected daisy chain pupils,
And drunken babbles that ache from
The hollows of my eyelids.
We were jail bird tendencies
with a knack for ruffling feathers
because we are the angel girls,
back lit in neon beams of late nights
spent on the strip searching for fame.
Trying to stay young or die beautiful
With flowers in our hair and cloud dust
In the cracks of our lungs.
Wishing we were a little less disastrous
And a little more glamorous,
We were gutter sluts looking
for cheap love in the back seats of cars.
There are no moonlit silhouettes
Just hang dog mornings where the sun
Burns the back of our throats,
Where we’d ache for those moments where dawn
Breaks over our glass rimmed wrists
And freckled synapses.
PSR J1311-3430this is how I quantify
from me: ladders of
you, my standard candle,
the scale by which
I measure everything:
you creature of precision,
so thoroughly magnetic:
you are bright and beautiful and
I am left to ponder
demeter and the succumbencei hope you sleep next to someone who listens
to you breathe, resisting oblivion for the dream of
you. hope you order italian lingerie and your
chest feels like a vase full of roses on friday.
maybe you can't understand my distraught hour
long baths and how if i spoke to you about what guards
my door to good & hearty rest, i would have to purge
it all, the fish-hooked chunks clawing up my esophagus.
the blood and the bile. nothing you would want to see.
nothing i'd want to show, like the matting in my fur
or the bruises in fairy rings around my wrists. i can't
tell you; not because you wouldn't hear me, but because
there's no room for comfort in you. not even for yourself.
the thought of my little words reaching your ears
chills me, and you deserve a true summer girl. may gave me
to you, but she did not plant her seeds or water them
in my dark moist earth. i'd hoped to be a piece of
salvation for you. but here i am as unclean as the
bottoms of your feet. this is not an accusation, not a
I need you to promise meI need you to promise me something.
I need you to promise that you won't laugh at me, when my iPod is on shuffle. When I order a sandwich at Subway. When my insecurities shine through.
I need you to promise that you will laugh with me, when we're watching Coach. When we act out songs while driving. When we start a snowball fight.
I need you to promise that you will stay quiet and listen, when I'm worked up and stressed. When I cry while watching the last episode of Golden Girls. When I'm writing and need to bounce ideas.
I need you to promise that we'll smile, when we're curled up watching your favorite film. When I misunderstand something, then figure it out. When we watch our dogs curled asleep next to each other.
I need you to promise that everyday will be an adventure, even if we're just going to the grocery store. Or if we're walking a quiet, side street in London. Or even if we're painting the kitchen.
I need you to promise that you'll understand, that honesty means everything